


I Stumble, I Stand

by killingmonsterswritingthings



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Demigirl Character, Gen, Gender Identity, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 19:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7282522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killingmonsterswritingthings/pseuds/killingmonsterswritingthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pidge comes to Shiro for a talk because, well, gender is hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Stumble, I Stand

Pidge went to find Shiro after dinner, knocking on the door to his quarters nervously.

He opened the door and the immediate expression on his face was worry. Somehow that irked Pidge but really, Shiro worried a lot.

“Hey, Pidge. You alright?”

She nodded. “I am, I am… I just… Can I talk to you about something?”

He immediately stepped aside. “Of course, come in.“

She followed him in and then stood in the middle of the room fidgeting for a moment before Shiro sat down. “Sit, I promise I'm not going to bite.” She sat down next to him, leaving a little space. “What's up?”

“Promise you won't be mad,” she said. He blinked, confused.

“Did you do something wrong?” he asked, tilting his head a little.

She squinted slightly. “No, I don't think so.”

“Then I have no reason to be mad.”

They sat in silence for a minute, Pidge clenching her hands in the fabric of her shorts and bouncing her leg until she noticed and stilled. She exhaled. “How did you know?” she asked.

“Know what?” he smiled. He was fairly sure that knew where this was going.

“That you were…,” she made a vague hand motion at him and took a deep breath.,“trans.”

“The word isn’t going to hurt you, I promise,” he said and laughed a little. “And I would be lying if I told you I had always known. I just grew more and more uncomfortable with being called a girl over time, you know? Until I was fairly sure that I wasn't one and didn’t want to be one.” She made a face. “Not what you wanted to hear?”

“Kind of?” She shook her head. “I mean I figured everyone had their own experiences but I just feel… I don't know. Lost?”

“I hear you,” Shiro said. “I think that's normal when you're questioning your gender.”

Pidge sighed and scooted a little closer, putting her head on his shoulder. “I just don't know what I am.”

“You don't have to,” he said immediately and put an arm around her almost automatically.

“But I like having words for things.”

“Hmm...” Shiro hummed thoughtfully. “What do you think then? What do you feel?”

“Like a girl, sometimes,” Pidge said, “but not always. And not always exclusively? Like I had no problem being seen as a guy for a lot of that time… It felt _easy_. But then also sometimes I would hate being associated with men. It makes no sense!”

“You can be a girl sometimes and no gender at all the next day or you can fluctuate between lots of different things. You don’t have to be one thing, Pidge. What worked for me doesn’t have to work for you.”

“I just didn't want to be lying anymore, that's why I told you guys about being a girl and it turns out everyone knew already. I just wanted to be real with you. And now that feels like a lie, too.” She wriggled out from under Shiro's arm and flopped down on his bed, gesturing at the ceiling wildly but unhelpfully.

“Very Mulan.” Shiro smiled.

Pidge snorted. “Excuse me, Mulan was outed by accident. She's badass though. And I don't think she really cared, either.”

“She had a job to do,” Shiro said. “She wanted to protect her Dad.”

“Yeah, we're very similar. Except in the end she was still a girl and I'm... I don't know.” Pidge sighed and grabbed his pillow to put it over her face.

“You can just be Pidge,” Shiro offered, slowly extracting the pillow from her grip. “If you want to keep that name. You can be whatever you want.”

“I guess,” Pidge sighed. “Is there a word for me though? A label or whatever?”

Shiro thought for a moment. “Demigirl, maybe? Or genderfluid, if you like that better. I think you could also be both, but don't quote me on that. It's all about what you feel best with.”

“Hmm...” Pidge was silent for a long time and for a while Shiro thought she had fallen asleep on him. “Yeah, I think demigirl sounds alright. But... what if I change my mind?”

“You can always change your mind,” Shiro said immediately, almost a little forcefully. “We're not made of stone, we develop and we grow. Everything can be kind of... fluid.”

“Oh,” Pidge made, “that's good.” After a minute she added. “I just don't want to have to pretend to be anything.”

“You don't have to pretend with us.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i just couldn't resist the mulan reference ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> the title is from sam tsui's new original song [perfect storm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e38nyxRG6l4)
> 
> come talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/luffylaws) or [tumblr](https://luffylaws.tumblr.com)


End file.
